


To Use, to Abuse

by yfere



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, post c2e48
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 15:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17470232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yfere/pseuds/yfere
Summary: Caleb leaves.





	To Use, to Abuse

Things are quiet, now. He has listened, and the group has listened, but maybe not listened enough. He can’t force them to do anything. He can’t force them to stop. But there are a few other things he can do.

  
He doesn’t need the scraps of paper in his hands. He shuffles through them in his mind, picking out the pieces that refer to Ikithon, to—them. _So they are still three peas in a pod._ He’d hoped, when they were older—but some bonds break easier than others, he supposes. His seem particularly delicate, lately.

  
_Use who you have to,_ Yussa whispers in his ear. He looks over at his companions—all asleep, except for Nott, who is merely pretending. Normally, on a night like this, they would make conversation. Caleb would recite some silly story he’d read once and they’d lull each other to rest. Now they can’t even be near one another.

  
He pulls his eyes away. He knows what Nott can do, and what she stands to lose. He thinks how many of them have family. There could be no question about them. Not Jester and her beautiful mother, not Caduceus and his scattered siblings, not even Beau, her brother and the parents that had cast her aside. He might take Fjord with him, but he would be needed by the others. He might take Yasha, who had lost the only family she’d known. Ikithon was interested in her already. Caleb thought he might understand why.

  
No.

  
_The reason I want to find these people and rescue them is not to use them, and it’s not because we’ve invested time in them, but it’s because I love them._

  
Wiser words.

  
Love.

  
_Use who you have to._

  
He thinks of the last times they hadn’t been ready. Of Keg, kneeling in the dirt, buying their survival with her humiliation. Fjord, compromising himself with Avantika. He thinks of two sets of arms around him, holding him close. They had loved him once. If he still—then maybe they—

  
_Your people._

  
Something clicks together in his head.

  
He knows what he has to do. A long shot, maybe, but weren’t they all?

__________

It helps, of course, that Nott is already exhausted when he approaches her. Her eyes are red-rimmed. Only a furious worry keeps her from toppling headfirst into unconsciousness.

  
“We’ve already talked,” she says shortly.

  
“I know,” he murmurs. He kneels next to her, flutters a hand on her flinching shoulder. It helps distract from the honeycomb he is crumbling in his other hand. “We have many long days ahead of us. I suggest you take a nightcap and let yourself have a good, long sleep.”

  
Her eyelids droop, her hand curls tighter around her flask, and he knows the spell has taken hold.

  
“Caleb,” she whispers, between a yawn. “I love them. It’s the most important thing to me.”

  
“I know. I understand,” he says, watching her take a heavy drink. As she pillows her head in her arms, he risks a light touch on her hair. “I will always help you, Nott the Brave. You can count on me.”

__________

The Tiny Hut dissipates as he steps outside, and perhaps it is the slight breeze, the shift in temperature that wakes Caduceus. For now Caleb’s stone allows him to see his violet eyes fly open, his eyebrows scrunch together. His mouth opens, but by then Caleb has finished casting his other spell, and he is flying, flying away from their camp at breakneck speed, so that he only faintly hears a muffled shout behind him.

  
He makes sure to pass over a few rivers, before he stops to rest. Their map is laid out with perfect clarity in his mind, and he knows there is a smaller settlement nearby he can stop in, with just enough of a name for it to be easy to find. He gasps against the side of a building for several minutes, until he knows his voice and hands would stay steady. He fingers the amulet around his neck, but decides to leave it for the moment. He casts his last spell, one of the ones he’d learned more recently.

  
“Astrid. And Eodwulf, if you’re there. It’s been a long time. I’ve been wandering for a while, but I’m ready to come home now.” He tells her the name of the town, and waits for a response. She has always been a night owl.

  
Her voice, when it comes, has a quiet joy. “We’re on our way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let's all suffer together


End file.
